Tips Guides

You’d think with the advent of spell checker that mistakes would no longer be made but one rule of the typist and computer programmer is never to trust the spell checker. You would be amazed that one slip of the finger and you will write all manner of things which could be mis-construed and god forbid you should mis-spell whatever it is you are looking for on the internet.

Take for instance the humble ink cartridge. All you need is a nail malfunction, or temporary loss of concentration and you’ve typed extra letters where there shouldn’t be any. Search results will be entirely different. Very possibly you will be searching for ‘pink’ cartridge instead of ink cartridge.

A pink cartridge is a little devise that you can purchase if you are young with a teeny, teeny body and daddy has lots of money. It gives you the ability to view the world in pink alone. Everything looks rosy and sugary and the world takes on a completely surreal tint. You will feel compelled to carry a small dog in your hand bag, or even as a handbag and delight will be found in things like a horrendously priced hairclip or some such banal trivia.

Another attempt at looking for an ink cartridge will come up with a ’sink’ cartridge with the wrong spelling. Unlike an ink cartridge, you will not get reams of perfectly printed letters or colourful pictures. You will, instead, get a multi-purpose devise that is purely for the plumbing industry.

A genuine slip of the index finger whilst searching for an ink cartridge will bring you ‘think’ cartridges. These are acquired rather than purchased and you will find yourself with them the morning after the night before. Through a haze of alcoholic hangover you will be racking your brain trying to remember what you did, who you spoke to and how many ex’s you phoned and abused.

A rink cartridge is something from the line of refrigeration. They come in various sizes and are used to freeze anything from the local ice rink to the fridge/freezers of domestic use. Long term usage in the domestic environment can have the knock on effect of freezing the wife or long term partner and this is not recommended.

Link cartridges are computer programmes that will link all websites that you request it to and is quite useful but not an ink cartridge. There are also mink cartridges that are pellets you put down holes in the ground to smoke out the furry coated critters and thus provide a lovely little coat for next winter for those who have taken the pink cartridge.

Take great care in how you type in ink cartridge. You need a devise that’s going to supply inks to your printer or photocopier. If in doubt, check it out before you try using it. It should be a relatively small, probably black, contraption that makes a mess over your hands and fits neatly into the void in your printer. If you don’t take care when looking for an ink cartridge, you could well end up with a kink cartridge and that is an entirely different thing altogether.

Expert writer Catherine Harvey looks at what can happen if you mis spell ink cartridge in a computer search.

What is it with people making a mockery of their kids these days? Anything that makes them look ridiculous, from the funny baby t-shirts to the weird haircuts and plain silly names, anything that draws attention to their child will suffice. Even if others are laughing at them rather than with them, they don’t mind. Apparently all publicity is good publicity.

Whatever happened to babies being clean and tidy to be taken out in public? What’s wrong with these old fashioned ideas? Why do we have to see them adorned in so many colours with slogans splashed all over funny baby t-shirts? They look like buckets of vomit rather than the cute little bundles of joy they’re supposed to be.

And have you noticed that babies are getting louder? Remember the days when a baby would be in a position where it could see its mother, wrapped up in soft baby blankets all cute curls and clean smiles. There is no such thing these days.

Today you will see babies in luminous plastic buggies at car exhaust height dressed in buckets of puke that their parents pass off as funny baby t-shirts with their mouths wide open in a desperate bid to be heard above their t-shirts!

Celebrities are the main instigators in this fashion for drawing attention to their offspring in the weirdest ways. Michael Jackson may well have thought that his children were disguised in veils but how many children do you see normally dressed like that? They were never going to blend into the background now were they?

Another well know celebrity was seen out and about with her baby who must have been paid to advertise the Burberry brand. From the buggy to the sunshade to the baby bag to the baby clothes, from her clothes probably right down to her baby’s nappy, all were the signature beige tartan of Burberry. Sad, but true. However, she did have the excuse of bordering on being a chav.

The only thing separating this celebrity from your average high street chav was her bank balance. Unfortunately, money cannot buy you good taste.

Take a walk round Basildon shopping precinct and you will see funny baby t-shirts galore. Simple slogans that the fifteen year old mothers can read, some that are even so funny they interact with their friends funny baby t-shirts. You know the sort - ‘I’m with stupid’, that sort of thing. Oh, bring on the Burberry, please!

Scientific research suggests that babies who are consistently dressed in funny baby t-shirts will grow up to be emotionally insecure due to people constantly pointing and laughing at them. They will also suffer hearing defects due to the loudness of their clothes and often require surgery for dislocated jaws where they have been trying to shout above them.

Statistics show that a staggering forty nine per cent of children forced to wear comedy clothes will grow up to be clinically depressed, a further nineteen per cent will run away with the circus and become clowns, seventeen per cent will become clinical psychologists in a bid to understand what made them that way and the remaining fifteen per cent will become estate agents (unofficial figures). To avoid cases of child cruelty being brought against you in later years, I suggest you avoid the trend for anything that will draw undue attention to your child.

Child care expert Catherine Harvey looks at the trend for funny baby t-shirts by mothers today.

Let’s face it. We all love the Internet and its wealth of quick knowledge and information but it has also caused us all our fair share of misery.

Viruses have destroyed our hard drives, financial and sexual predators lay lurking in the shadows and everything else that could possibly be unpleasant is never more than a click of the mouse away.

So in order to not let the world of fast information get you down, it is important to stay in touch with your sense of humor, especially when you are stuck behind a computer all day. The daily frustrations of dealing with the Internet and computers can leave even the most pleasant of people in a fowl mood, so it’s important for all of us to keep ourselves laughing out loud online.

One of the biggest reasons that more people are smiling behind their computer screens is the sudden mass influx of funny video file sharing sites. These sites allow any user from anywhere in the world log on and view real-time videos from all over the world.

They are usually organized in a manner that anyone can easily search for and find something of interest. For example, if you are a cat lover you would not have any difficulties busting a gut over some hilarious kitty videos. There is an abundance of websites and video sharing sites that specialize in home videos of cats doing what they do best; being hilarious.

The most common way for people to stumble upon these sites is through a recommendation from a friend. In the digital world, this can come from a variety of sources but is usually contained as a forward in an email, a reminder on a social networking site or even spoken in person.

The sheer wealth of funny information, especially pictures and videos is overwhelming. And it is definitely a buyers market because most of the funny information you find online comes at absolutely no cost.

The popularity of social networking sites has made finding solid humor much easier for many people. These sites allow users to post website addresses for funny pictures or videos that their friends can see. So if a few of your friends share the same sense of humor, then you can be in constant exchange of links to funny videos or other online content.

Although it is probably not the best idea to send funny forwards to your friends while on the job, many people are guilty of it. Nevertheless, receiving a funny email right in the middle of a stressful day can give you the boost you need to get through until five o’clock.

More and more these days we are holed up in front of our computers for longer and longer periods of time. We are interacting with each other less and most of us are certainly laughing a lot less.

As the old adage goes, laughter is the best medicine, and that still applies in a modern and ever-changing world.

So even though the Internet can be a frustrating world at some times, it offers the perfect market for soothing the nerves through humor. No matter what comedic styles you prefer, there is a guaranteed over-abundance just waiting to be found online.

So click your way to laughter today. Your mood and stress level will thank you for it.

Andy West is a writer for Fubar Website Reviews and Deep Sojourner Writings.

I hear it all the time. The people on twitter are twits, twittering tales of hairballs and haircuts. Bloggers have been moaning about the noise on twitter, and predicting the date the site will close down, yet twitter remains a powerful communications force in the online world.

I think it has something to do with that thing they call API…the stuff programmers use to talk to twitter and make other tools that use twitter information for something else. I didn’t really understand what use it would be to aggregate all these useless posts, until I noticed that some people are posting really valuable stuff. Like the BBC and CNN! Yes, these news sites twitter their top headlines into their twitter account, for all the world to see.

Now, things like twittervision are interesting, and give you a glimpse of world twitter activity, but it sure can waste time too…kind of like what a twit would do, right?

With a little thoughtfulness, you might be able to imagine twittervision done right - showing only the twitters of your friends or a region. So far, that’s not happening. But there are a lot of powerful tools being developed to make twitter more personal and available. Like the SMS integration, which lets you read and respond to twitterings from your cell phone. Or twitterfox, a firefox browser plugin that lets your twitters pop up while you surf. This latter tool is even more powerful now, by filtering the replies from your posts, so you can scroll through the responses from others, and respond to them with one click of the mouse.

Other people are using twitter for business, and developing their reach even further simply by posting some of their work on twitter. Lately, I have found poets, reporters, marketers, ceo’s, and others, all focusing their twitters to provide useful content relating to their specialty. It makes me think that soon all the major business communications will be carried over twitter, as a new medium to reach a wider audience.

The beauty of twittering is it is like instant messaging, without being instant. People don’t expect an immediate response, don’t see if you are online or not, but do get to see your response when you post it, so they can catch up to the conversation whenever they want to, and respond to things without worrying about the interactive requirements of a phone conversation or instant messaging session (big time wasters in this world of ours).

Still, there are millions of people using twitter, and many of them are twits, twittering about toilets and termites that no one else wants to hear about. I like people who do something to fix this problem, and one free tool is at Quotably, and lets you search twitter and group responses into conversations that you can read and respond to. It’s quite powerful when you think about it, and perhaps it will help you to see where twitter might go in the future.

It’s an exciting world for the twitterers of today.

Don’t be the last to discover twitter marketing!

There are many activities to be indulged in to avoid the boredom that comes from driving but few of them are legal and most require that you remove at least one hand from the wheel with the possible implications of being stopped for careless driving. If you have to travel but are easily bored, try using chauffeur car hire to get around and then indulge yourself in all sorts of fun.

Dancing is one possibility. Many a time, my daughter and I have made up our own version of the hand jive whilst driving along. This is great fun and people look at you like your crazy but after one nasty experience where I got my sleeve caught on the gear stick, I decided this was dangerous. Now employ the use of chauffeur car hire and you can dance to your heart’s content in the back seat. People will still look at you like you’re crazy but trust me, it’s them, not you.

People-watching is so much more fun when you don’t have to drive. Using chauffeur car hire makes this past time so much easier. It’s amazing that other drivers are under the impression they have blacked out windows or an invisibility cloak over their cars when they’re stuck in traffic. Nose pickers are the worst. Their little rituals over what to do with their nasal secretion varies little and often culminates in rolling and flicking.

Of course, there is always eating. This is difficult to do when you’re driving and often results in burger sauce all over your steering wheel but get your chauffeur to drive and all manner of silverware is at your disposal.

Waving at people, contrary to popular belief, does not stop being fun once you’re out of primary school. Challenge your companion to get the most poker faced nearby driver to raise a faint smile and you may be surprised. If you use chauffeur car hire, direct your driver into inner city traffic and the waving business will keep you amused for hours. Lorry drivers are a pretty sure bet, particularly if you’re young and blonde, or young and dark, or middle aged and female. In fact, if you have a pulse, you’ll get a wave returned by a lorry driver.

A major past time to be carried out in a car is, of course, sex. In fact, at the age of eighteen, this is a veritable right and part of completing the puberty process. Get to forty and it’s not so easy. Joints are stiffer and less flexible and, unless you’re newly single, mustering up the energy is virtually impossible. Again, chauffeur car hire comes into its own. Slide up that privacy partition and slide into position with the ease and grace that usually befits someone of a more recent generation.

If you’re using chauffeur car hire instead of driving, you have the luxury of being able to consume alcohol. This will lead to a plethora of things that seem fun to do at the time. Believing you can sing is one of the drawbacks and will see you screeching out ballads at the top of your voice. Writing ‘HELP’ on the rear window in lipstick will be fun until you get pulled over by the police and will make you look stupid if you don’t take into account that you have to write it backwards to be read from the outside.

Of course, on really long journeys all these games will become tedious after a while. There is only one thing left to do and that is to see just how many orange cones you can get in the back of your car. Orange cones are the source of endless amounts of fun unless you end up in casualty with one stuck on your head, in which case you will just feel like a prat.

Entertainments expert Catherine Harvey looks at the advantages of chauffeur car hire over personal driving.

Its a simple question to ask, ‘Whats so funny?’ but if you sit down and think about it, it’s not so easy to answer. In some respects it’s an eternal question with no one correct answer. Ask a comedian who is successful about what is it that makes the audience laugh? Why are you so funny? The reply you will probably get, is a litany of stories about the years that they spent ‘doing the circuit’, rooms full of drunks and the nights they died on stage and never got a laugh. They can never quite put their finger on the turning point in their careers and don’t dwell on the reasons. ‘If it aint broke don’t fix it’ and certainly do not try to analyze it for fear that it, like magic, may disappear overnight.

Simply the fact that different things make us laugh and a particular type of humour may leave someone in hysterics and another person bemused, looking for what was so funny, is testament to the innate personal nature of comedy. A study of what make us laugh concluded that their were two types of humour. The type where we laugh with someone or some situation, and another where we are laughing at someone or something. The latter can be seen as a reflection of our own position in society and the confidence we express at the misfortune of another person in an embarrassing situation.

The more confident someones is in them self that the situation would be unlikely to happen to them, then the more likely there are to laugh at the other persons misfortune. If you perceive that the situation that may happen to you, you are less likely to laugh, as the thought of a funny picture of yourself in a possibly compromised position is more unnerving.

Laughing outwardly at others misfortune is also a sign of the character of the person, a study by Dr Boris Sidis concluded in 1913. Dr Sidis concluded that laughter often displays the innate meanness of humanity. ‘Show me the kind of thing a man will laugh at, and I will show you the kind of man he is’.

Funny in its purest form escapes this classification and the purer the source of the comedy, the higher the state of the evolvement of the amused society Dr Sidis said. We laugh at what we think to be inferior to our own position in society.

Probably the purest form of this is the clown who from his very appearance has released the shackles of what we consider normal in an attempt through visual and mechanical mimicry to make us laugh. It is the clowns diversion from all normal behaviour that allows all of us to laugh with him as well as at him. As the clown does not relate to any normal position that we might find ourselves in we are released from weighing subconsciously whether the situation would adversely affect us.

With the proliferation of the internet throughout our society, we find a situation whereby we can search for our own form of ‘funny’. Be it funny pictures or literature, within the privacy of our homes and only shared between our PC and our self, we are not restrained by our social piers as to what we may laugh at. The proliferation of mediums such as You Tube are testament to this. Here you can find millions of examples of humour, the majority of which will not amuse the individual. However due to statistical variety available everyones taste is catered for and you are able to find something that amuses.

As for what makes us laugh, all I can say is that what makes us laugh only comes second to what puritans would say, is what makes us go blind!

For the best in funny pictures online. You can find all categories of funny pics at Those Funny Pictures.