Tips Guides

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by fear - so much so that it prevented you from doing something you wanted to do? Believe it or not, this is a common problem faced by many people daily.

Fear has the power to hold you back from taking risks, following your dreams, or becoming successful at anything you attempt to do. If you allow it to control you for long enough, it can eventually erode your quality of life and keep you locked in a prison of inactivity.

What many people fail to realize is that fear is nothing more than a conditioned response. It’s a natural reaction to a frightening or unfamiliar situation. While it is usually automatic, there are things you can do to overcome it.

1. Destroy Your Worries
One major contributor of fear is the prevalence of negative expectations. Do you usually find yourself expecting the worst in every situation? Do you worry obsessively about what could go wrong, rather than focusing on your strengths and capabilities?

If you make a conscious effort to expect the best, see the positive side of each situation and keep reminding yourself that you can handle more than you often think, you’ll find yourself with much less fear to deal with. Even if feelings of fear do manage to creep into your consciousness, you’ll still be able to keep them in perspective and balance them against an underlying sense of confidence.

2. Discredit Your Fears
Experts will tell you that the majority of things you fear will never come to pass anyway. While this may be true, it sure doesn’t feel that way when fear has a chokehold on you! However, if you look a little more closely at your fears when they arise, you may be able to dismiss at least a few.

For example, if you have a fear of public speaking and your boss wants you to give a presentation at work, you might feel like your life (and perhaps your livelihood) is on the line. You may fear getting fired, or worry that your colleagues will lose respect for you if you don’t do a good job.

But is any of this likely to happen? In most cases, no. Rather than worrying about what “might” happen if you don’t give a solid presentation, you might brainstorm ways to help improve your performance, such as being well prepared, practicing your delivery on friends and family members, writing notes to yourself and so on.

3. Destroy Your Fear
When you remember that fear is simply a feeling, it loses much of its power. It can’t harm you and except in truly threatening situations you can choose to ignore it and move forward anyway.

If you weigh the pros and cons in any situation, you may decide that the possibility of negative consequences is minimal so there’s nothing to stop you from ignoring your fear and going for it! This will be determined by you on a case by case basis, of course. The point isn’t to become reckless with your decision-making but rather to empower yourself to know when a fear is groundless and easily overcome.

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How many times have you caught yourself saying that there could be no other solution to a problem and that that problem leads to a dead end? How many times have you felt stumped knowing that the problem laying before you is one you cannot solve. No leads. No options. No solutions.

Did it feel like you had exhausted all possible options and yet are still before the mountain - large, unconquerable, and impregnable? When encountering such enormous problems, you may feel like you’re hammering against a steel mountain. The pressure of having to solve such a problem may be overwhelming.

But rejoice! There might be some hope yet! With some creative problem-solving techniques you may be able to look at your problem in a different light. And that light might just be the end of the tunnel that leads to possible solutions.

First of all, in the light of creative problem-solving, you must be open-minded to the fact that there may be more than just one solution to the problem. And, you must be open to the fact that there may be solutions to problems you thought were unsolvable.

Now, with this optimistic mindset, we can try to be a little bit more creative in solving our problems.
1.Maybe the reason we cannot solve our problems is that we have not really taken a hard look at what the problem is. Here, trying to understanding the problem and having a concrete understanding of its workings is integral solving the problem. If you know how it works, what the problem is, then you have a better foundation towards solving the problem.

Not trying to make the simple statement of what problem is. Try to identify the participating entities and what their relationships with one another are. Take note of the things you stand to gain any stand to lose from the current problem. Now you have a simple statement of what the problem is.

2.Try to take note of all of the constraints and assumptions you have the words of problem. Sometimes it is these assumptions that obstruct our view of possible solutions. You have to identify which assumptions are valid, in which assumptions need to be addressed.

3.Try to solve the problem by parts. Solve it going from general view towards the more detailed parts of the problem. This is called the top-down approach. Write down the question, and then come up with a one-sentence solution to that from them. The solution should be a general statement of what will solve the problem. From here you can develop the solution further, and increase its complexity little by little.

4.Although it helps to have critical thinking aboard as you solve a problem, you must also keep a creative, analytical voice at the back of your head. When someone comes up with a prospective solution, tried to think how you could make that solution work. Try to be creative. At the same time, look for chinks in the armor of that solution.

5.It pays to remember that there may be more than just one solution being developed at one time. Try to keep track of all the solutions and their developments. Remember, there may be more than just one solution to the problem.

6.Remember that old adage,” two heads are better than one.” That one is truer than it sounds. Always be open to new ideas. You can only benefit from listening to all the ideas each person has. This is especially true when the person you’re talking to has had experience solving problems similar to yours.

You don’t have to be a gung-ho, solo hero to solve the problem. If you can organize collective thought on the subject, it would be much better.

7.Be patient. As long as you persevere, there is always a chance that a solution will present itself. Remember that no one was able to create an invention the first time around.

Creative thinking exercises can also help you in your quest be a more creative problems solver.

Here is one example - Take a piece of paper and write any word that comes to mind at the center. Now look at that word then write the first two words that come to your mind. This can go on until you can build a tree of related words. This helps you build analogical skills, and fortify your creative processes.

So, next time you see a problem you think you can not solve, think again. The solution might just be staring you right in the face. All it takes is just a little creative thinking, some planning, and a whole lot of work.

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Much has been written about leadership: rules, pointers, styles, and biographies of inspiring leaders throughout world history. But there are certain leadership ideas that we ourselves fail to recognize and realize in the course of reading books. Here is a short list of things you thought you knew about leadership.

1. Leaders Come In Different Flavors.
There are different types of leaders and you will probably encounter more than one type in your lifetime. Formal leaders are those we elect into positions or offices such as the senators, congressmen, and presidents of the local clubs.

Informal leaders or those we look up to by virtue of their wisdom and experience such as in the case of the elders of a tribe, or our grandparents; or by virtue of their expertise and contribution on a given field such as Albert Einstein in the field of Theoretical Physics and Leonardo da Vinci in the field of the Arts. Both formal and informal leaders practice a combination of leadership styles.

-Lewin’s three basic leadership styles - authoritative, participative, and delegative
-Likert’s four leadership styles - exploitive authoritative, benevolent authoritative, consultative,
and participative
-Goleman’s six emotional leadership styles - visionary, coaching, affiliative, democratic, pacesetting, and commanding.

2. Leadership Is A Process Of Becoming.
Although certain people seem to be born with innate leadership qualities, without the right environment and exposure, they may fail to develop their full potential. So like learning how to ride a bicycle, you can also learn how to become a leader and hone your leadership abilities. Knowledge on leadership theories and skills may be formally gained by enrolling in leadership seminars, workshops, and conferences.

Daily interactions with people provide the opportunity to observe and practice leadership theories. Together, formal and informal learning will help you gain leadership attitudes, gain leadership insights, and thus furthering the cycle of learning. You do not become a leader in one day and just stop. Life-long learning is important in becoming a good leader for each day brings new experiences that put your knowledge, skills, and attitude to a test.

3. Leadership Starts With You.
The best way to develop leadership qualities is to apply it to your own life. As an adage goes action speaks louder than words.Leaders are always in the limelight. Keep in mind that your credibility as a leader depends much on your actions: your interaction with your family, friends, and co-workers; your way of managing your personal and organizational responsibilities; and even the way you talk with the newspaper vendor across the street.

Repeated actions become habits. Habits in turn form a person’s character. Steven Covey’s book entitled 7 Habits of Highly Effective People provides good insights on how you can achieve personal leadership.

4. Leadership Is Shared.
Leadership is not the sole responsibility of one person, but rather a shared responsibility among members of an emerging team. A leader belongs to a group. Each member has responsibilities to fulfill. Formal leadership positions are merely added responsibilities aside from their responsibilities as members of the team.

Effective leadership requires members to do their share of work. Starting as a mere group of individuals, members and leaders work towards the formation of an effective team. In this light, social interaction plays a major role in leadership.

To learn how to work together requires a great deal of trust between and among leaders and members of an emerging team. Trust is built upon actions and not merely on words. When mutual respect exists, trust is fostered and confidence is built.

5. Leadership Styles Depend On The Situation.
How come dictatorship works for Singapore but not in the United States of America? Aside from culture, beliefs, value system, and form of government, the current situation of a nation also affects the leadership styles used by its formal leaders.

There is no rule that only one style can be used. Most of the time, leaders employ a combination of leadership styles depending on the situation. In emergency situations such as periods of war and calamity, decision-making is a matter of life and death. Thus, a nation’s leader cannot afford to consult with all departments to arrive at crucial decisions.

The case is of course different in times of peace and order—different sectors and other branches of government can freely interact and participate in governance. Another case in point is in leading organizations. When the staffs are highly motivated and competent, a combination of high delegative and moderate participative styles of leadership is most appropriate.

But if the staffs have low competence and low commitment, a combination of high coaching, high supporting, and high directing behavior from organizational leaders is required.

Now that you are reminded of these things, keep in mind that there are always ideas that we think we already know; concepts we take for granted, but are actually the most useful insights on leadership.

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Many people wish they felt more secure about their abilities on the job. In other words, they’re looking for increased self-confidence when it comes to performing the work, dealing with coworkers, and handling tough situations. If you’re one of these people, you’re not alone. What can you do to feel more self-assured about your job?

First, remember that you are not your job. That is, if you make a mistake at work, this does not mean that you are stupid, worthless, or that you’re in the wrong position. It’s all too easy to take mistakes personally, seeing them as a reflection of your true person rather than for what it is: a mistake.

Even though it may not always appear so, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best way to deal with a mistake is to own up to it right away and present a solution.

This shows that you are honest, and by presenting ways to fix the problem, your boss can send you on your way to deal with the issue.

Acting honestly and straightforwardly is best for you–you’ll feel better about yourself–and best for the company (which again will help you feel better).

Another common issue is feeling insecure when it comes to coworkers. Many people feel that they do not fit in, are unsure how to handle conflict, or have an overbearing coworker or boss that they don’t know how to communicate with.

Any of these feelings can wear at your self-esteem. You may feel you have nothing to offer the group, whether socially or on projects, you avoid conflict, and may allow others to step on you. If socialization is a problem, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit.

This does not mean you need to jump right in with a large company gathering; rather, take it slow by opening conversations with one or two coworkers.

Chances are you’ll have something in common. Asking questions about the other person is always a great way to go; just avoid questions with simple yes or no answers.

When dealing with conflict resolution and difficult employees, learning some proven communication techniques may be necessary. Consider attending a course on conflict resolution and dealing with difficult people.

In the meantime, remember that the overbearing person likely has a lot of insecurities as well, and these are what cause the behavior. In the midst of conflict, do your best to avoid being pulled into argumentative situations.

Don’t reward the other person’s behavior by getting upset or immediately backing down. If necessary, say you’ll continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to cool down.

Dealing with negative coworkers is never fun. Try and remember that your self worth is not dependent on the coworker’s approval, even if that person is your boss.

It could be you’re feeling unsure about your skills. This one is pretty easy–learn more! Many companies offer continuing education options, will pay for schooling, or offer professional development in house. Whatever your employer offers, take advantage.

If your company does not have this option, find some good books on the subject. Ask your colleagues for suggestions, or if you’re a member of any type of professional group, seek advice there as well. Many of your peers will have good suggestions on what’s worth looking into.

Finally, give yourself some challenges. One great way to build your self confidence at work is to take on a special project or extra work. If you choose something you feel passionate about or something in your specialty area, you can show yourself and your colleagues that you are able to produce results.

Even if you fail, you’re showing initiative and willingness by taking on special projects. Knowing that you put yourself out there, rather than sitting on the sidelines, can be a great confidence booster. And the same can be said for when it goes well.

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The best advantage any athlete can have is a great sense of self confidence. That inner feeling of trusting your instincts and skills will aid you more than any other factor when game time rolls around.

A self confident player can take the field, court, or arena and be poised and prepared to play his or her best. Just like athletic skill, self confidence must be practiced and maintained.

A player cannot expect to immediately excel at a sport, so he or she should also be prepared to complete activities that will build his or her self confidence. Many coaches work in drills or activities into their regular practices that will boost a player’s ability to trust his or her decisions in the event.

Self confidence is important in every sporting event or activity, but it seems more so in an individual sport rather than a team sport. In team sports, you can rely on your fellow teammates to assist with plays and boost your spirits if you happen on a rough patch of play.

Individual sports make players focus within, requiring athletes to create internal motivation that teammates would usually provide. Additionally, athletes who compete in individual sports are more likely to feel magnified effects from losing. In a team sport, if an individual does poorly, the team can adjust their strategy.

However, in an individual sport, it is up to the athlete to perform at top levels consistently. Regardless of the sport or activity in which you are engaged, achieving and maintaining your self confidence will enhance your performance.

If you are part of a sports team, look for ways to build your self confidence through building team confidence. For example, your football team might be a leader in defense, but your quarterback sacks help put them there.

Your doubles tennis team may be ranked in first place, partially thanks to your strong serving ability and excellent back hand form. For every praise of your team, find a way praise to yourself.

This may be difficult at first, since athletes are schooled in the ways of teamwork, with the old adage there is no I in team,but your personal self confidence will boost the overall performance of the team.

However, it should be said there is a fine line between self confident praising and boasting. Whereas self confidence can enhance a team, boasting or arrogance can destroy it.

Rifts form between teammates and you may find yourself separated from your fellow athletes if your attitude turns you into a braggart.

The best way to gain and maintain your athletic self confidence is to practice whatever sport in which you are participating. It does not matter if you are five or eight-five, practice will reinforce you knowledge of the game and your confidence in your performance.

When you know you can successfully execute a play or have truly mastered a specific skill, your self confidence will grow. Learn from your mistakes. Instead of beating yourself up over a mistake, loss, or missed opportunity, find a way to better your playing level.

If you are having difficulty in one area of the sport, focus on it during practice. Establish a mindset that positively reinforces your skills in order to build your self confidence and do not allow yourself to think negative or harsh thoughts regarding your performance.

The best athletes are not those individuals with the greatest skill level they are the ones who are truly confident in their capacity in the game. Regardless of what sport you choose to pursue, trusting your own judgments and skill level is a sure fire way to be successful in the athletic area.

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Preserve your self-confidence don’t lose it!
Imagine the plight of a boy who had a hearing problem and so could not understand teacher’s instructions well.

He was labeled a mentally weak child, who had no brains for studies and was thrown out of the school! This child was none other than the great Thomas Alva Edison. Now would you agree with the school that he was dumb?

How is it possible, then, for a dumb child to patent more than 1000 inventions more than the collective patents of all the scientists of his time? The credit goes to his mother for not letting him lose his self-confidence. Such is the power of self-confidence that inspires people to achieve great feats.

Einstein, after hearing about the way Mahatma Gandhi was determined to free his nation by using non-violence as a weapon, said that it would be difficult for future generations to imagine that such a man had walked down this planet.

Gandhi’s self-confidence worked and his country was freed. Whether it is a patriot defending his country’s border, a swimmer giving all to get the medal for his country, a musician performing to a packed hall, a child reciting poem to her class, a fire-fighter struggling to save people, they all have something in common which makes them stand apart from other people. These people have an I can attitude towards life. They are full of self-confidence.

Develop self-confidence among your people
Corporations have been known to use tools like teamwork to inspire self-confidence in their people. People are the greatest asset an organization can have. Jack Welch the CEO of GE believed that the best idea wins, no matter where it comes from.

So how do we get this best idea? It can only come from the people out there. So it is important to make every person feel himself to be an important part of the organization who has all the opportunity to learn, understand and develop the self-confidence to speak out his ideas. Ideas are a real treasure for a company to have, and it is self-confidence that brings great ideas to the forefront.

There are numerous examples in the history where a single person of courage changed the course of events. Be it Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi or Mother Teresa, all used their patience, perseverance, compassion and self-confidence to stay put on the path they had chosen.

Imagination the cradle of self-confidence!
Our imagination is one of the greatest gifts that God have given us. Our imagination can stretch to any lengths. So much so that your own imagination has the power to make or break you. Though what you imagine yourself to be might be miles away from actual truth, it’s your imagination that dictates your feelings and emotions.

What makes a successful person different from a failure is basically the way both of them think. If at a T-point you take the route to City A, you will reach City A. If you decide to go to the other direction to City B, you will reach City B. It’s as simple as that. You get what you want. So beware of your wants. You want what you imagine, so imagine great things for yourself.

People with low self-confidence usually imagine themselves as not doing well in their jobs, at home, in relationships and so on. Whereas a person with self-confidence would imagine himself getting a promotion in the next two years, having a family, kids, pay rise, holidays, owning a home and so on. So be a self-confident person and fantasize.

Fantasizing is good for you. Fantasize about all what you would like to have for you. Meeting great people, shouldering great responsibilities, going places, and becoming the person you would like to become.

This is a way to feed your mind with necessary inputs and your mind has the power to give solutions. Tell your mind the right things to do, and your mind will get you what you wanted. Believe it. It’s true!

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