Tips Guides

Science has improved by leaps and bounds lately and almost all forms of science have become so advanced because of the research and development being exercised in their respective areas. The only science which is still under huge controversy in the science based on the brain power, the cognitive domain and the memory speculation which is other wise called as neuroscience or neuropsychology.

Some important issues that are popularly discussed these days in conjunction to cognitive domain include memory loss, the short term memory, and the ways of improving memory. In medical science, these are subject to intensive studies.

Mind is an amazing thing designed by God. Its power and capacity know no limits and man is yet to tap this power absolutely. It is said that man only uses just a fragment of his mental capacity. Scientists and researchers are always doing things to elevate this power or in the field of improving memory.
Memories are recorded happenings in the mental dimension. It is just like the computer encoding every data gathered . Everything that happens is recorded in the brain and whenever they are needed, the information is retrieved. But how is it that we can retrieve only particular events or information and not all what we see? All the sensory organs are working together when we perceive something.

Memory encoding and retrieval is highly dependent on the attention it is given. In various cases trauma, accidents or depression might cause temporary memory loss which mostly is treatable. Memory plays a significant role in the overall development of an individual. His intelligence is judged by his memory retention capability.

Without memory nobody can normally function because it creates an identity. Memory capacity therefore depends on the attention and the sensory perceptions. People who suffer from memory loss are thus given ways or exercises for improving memory. Students usually forget things easily before of the attention deficit as they are distracted by so many other matters. When they know the memory development strategies, then they can memorize and study much better. In usual cases, children easily remember things which they like, so it is natural that they do not give a damn about things or subjects which they do not love.

Everybody has its own memory capacity and even overloaded this capacity might also be cause for memory loss. But then human beings cannot remember almost all around them. So, human can not avoid chaos and confusion. Lots of individuals will always be depressed or will be affected by anxiety.

As a final note, memory development should be focused to enhance the general working capability to aid our normal functioning. Students weak in studies can use this memory development techniques to enhance their capacity. Even elderly people or business associates can learn this memory development to brush up and know how precisely they can remember essential things that needs to be stored as memory. Actually positive individuals learn from their memories. Therefore memory development should lead to human advancement and better performance rather than for any other reason.

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Have you ever tried to court a girl? Have you ever tried to win her approval and affection by saying nice things to her all the time (eg. praising her beauty)? If so, then I bet it probably didn’t turn out very well. In fact, I’m pretty sure that the girl eventually got immune to your ‘nice guy’ gestures and started avoiding your calls.

Have you ever wondered why? I mean, shouldn’t being nice and sweet to a girl cause her to like you?

Well, first of all, everything we’ve ever learnt about romance is totally wrong. I’m not kidding. Ever since we were born, almost everything the media has fed us about attracting women is a lie. In the movies, the sweet sensitive guy who goes out of his way to please a woman always ends up with her, and they live happily ever after. In reality however, women seldom react positively to a guy who showers them with too much attention and compliments. The fact is, complimenting her too often will backfire and cause her to resent you, instead of liking you.

Let me explain why. Women, especially the hot ones, receive at least 20-30 compliments on a daily basis. (Compliments here refer not just to verbal utterances, but also to lingering glances, lusty stares, and other non-verbal cues that signify male interest) In other words, these women are so used to guys giving them compliments in one way or another, that they become rather immune to it. In fact, many of them start to get annoyed by men who constantly offer praises to gain their approval. They perceive such men as weak and boring, who need to compensate for a lack of personality by complimenting excessively.

So, is there any way around this situation?

This may seem ridiculous, but believe it or not, insulting her will cause her to be attracted to you. Yup, giving a woman a negative comment will go much further towards creating a lasting impression than a compliment ever will. Just imagine, a beautiful girl receives hundreds of compliments from different men every week. Then one day, someone comes along one day and says something non-too-flattering to her. Which of them do you think will she remember - the hundreds who complimented her, or the one guy who stood out from the rest and ‘dissed’ her? The answer is obvious - the guy who didn’t give her what she expected to hear.

But don’t misunderstand, these ‘insults’ must not be conveyed in a malicious way so as to be considered offensive. The idea here is not to piss her off, but rather, to communicate to her that you are not emasculated by her beauty, unlike 99% of the other guys she’s met. And the only way to ensure this is by employing the right body language and tonality. But that is the subject for another day.

So far, whatever I’ve mentioned above about women might seem illogical, even nonsensical to you. But trust me, that’s the reality of things. Women just aren’t triggered by all that sacharine Disney-style romance we all grew up with. The truth is, attracting women requires a whole new set of skills that society never equipped us with. To unlock a woman, we need to use a totally different set of techniques that runs counter to our natural instinct. The one we’ve just talked about - being rude and mean to her - is but one of the numerous techniques that form the basis of successful seduction.

A word of caution though. These techniques, when used properly, are so powerful that a woman will immediately feel an intense, yet inexplicable attraction for the man. This will confuse and mystify her, because she will not normally be attracted to such a man. The usual criteria that a woman uses to qualify and select a man is simply thrown out of the window. As such, any man, be he short or ugly or broke or overweight, can induce powerful feelings of attraction and desirability within the woman if he employs these techniques properly. Continuous use of these techniques will render the woman utterly powerless to the man, till the point where her entire world is virtually in the palm of his hand - that’s how powerful it is!

So beware, if you are ever considering learning these techniques, be extremely mindful of what you are stepping into. es, you will have an unfair advantage over other guys. Yes, you will have unprecedented success with women. But do not abuse your power once you have it! These techniques will give you the secrets of attracting any woman, but if you use them without discretion and with ignoble intentions, there will be serious and far-reaching consequences. Such is the way of this world. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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Your thoughts are mental products although they don’t necessarily reflect an absolute reality. However, for you, they do represent how you feel. Some people can’t help but wear their hearts on their sleeves. Others are more able to manage their emotions and function as if everything is fine. Born to a single mother with serious financial problems, Debra often struggled with her feelings growing up. Now a married Sandwiched Boomer, with a lot of life experience under her belt, a family of her own, and more responsibility for her mom, she’s dealing better with her emotions:

“I have to work at being more optimistic and worrying less. I no longer dwell so much on the negatives, and looking at things from a more positive perspective is not as hard as I thought it would be.” Just like Debra, you can learn how to reframe your thoughts and take better care of your emotional self. Begin by following these tips:

1. Focus your thoughts on what you can accomplish rather than on what you cannot. Look on the bright side of difficult situations as you create a balance between caring for others and nurturing your personal needs. You may even want to make a schedule until this becomes a routine that is factored into your daily life. Although you often cannot control external circumstances, you can control how you handle them.

2. Honor your body by taking notice of what makes you feel better, both physically and emotionally - pay attention to your exercise routine, what you eat, your sleeping habits and what gives you pleasure. Reduce the situations that cause stress and increase the ones that make you feel more relaxed or alive.

3. Forgive others who are important to you for some past wrongdoing. Watch their reaction and see how that makes you feel. That doesn’t mean you have to totally forget about it. But learn a lesson from the situation and move on, especially for your own good.

4. Practice what you know about being resilient. Recognize how your character strengths support what you do. Integrate your core values and personal ideals into how you view the world. Release tension through laughter and watch yourself begin to bounce back.

5. Knowledge is power. Use it to your advantage. Gather information about ways to deal with how you are feeling - explore Internet search engines or the self-help section of bookstores. Talk about how you are feeling with friends and family whose opinions you respect. Schedule a few sessions with a therapist or a life coach.

6. Support is a valuable tool - connect often. Find a class or workshop through your local university extension program or mental health center. Join an ongoing group or attend a weekend retreat to share concerns and gain new perspective. Spend some time with others who will support your ideas, validate your perceptions and help you follow through with your plans.

It can be difficult to maintain a sense of optimism when emotional circumstances are complicated and perhaps even painful. But you owe it to yourself to begin to better understand and cope with your changing moods. Talking about your negative feelings can increase your awareness and mitigate symptoms. In addition, you need to flip the coin and look on the bright side - for example, recognize the insight, strengths and skills that are already an integral part of you.

Some experts say that you have to feel better before you can change your behavior. Others advise you to behave positively and the feelings will follow. Try something as simple as being friendly when you’re feeling shy, or act happy when you feel sad. You know what happens when someone smiles at you. You can’t help but smile back - and that feels good. Make a commitment to look at life through a more positive lens, starting right now.

(C) Her Mentor Center, 2008

Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. is co-founder of http://www.HerMentorCenter.com, a website for midlife women and http://www.NourishingRelationships.Blogspot.com, a blog for the Sandwich Generation. She is co-author of a forthcoming book about Baby Boomers and family relationships. She offers a free newsletter Stepping Stones.

Fear is natural defensive mechanism in a human body, and is provided as a protective mechanism to counter unexpected dangerous situations or a perceived threat of injury. Fear is also a tool for us to get ready well in advance to overcome certain scenarios, which requires a solid defense. If confronted with a danger, we will try to avoid the cause of danger itself, while if we are given a choice of performing something that is potentially harmful; we will invariably avoid that potentially dangerous situation.

In some cases, fear is considered very desirable for human psyche, but in other extreme cases, fear factor may overpower us to such an extent that, we tend to live permanently with a nagging fear. In such instances, managing the fear factor in our psyche becomes very difficult and sometimes even unmanageable. Overcoming fears is not as easy as it perceived to be because the very idea of fear becomes scary or frightening to many people.

Just consider this curious fact: it is estimated that fear can affect as high as 60% of the people in the world. Fear can make people nervous and scary; people tend to get fear of all things which are mostly imaginary. People are frightened of ghosts, failure, success, people, animals, or anything that seem very frightening. People are frightened to appear on a public stage or if they are assigned to give a public lecture.

People do get afraid of exams, tests and interviews or even talking to people. It is difficult to define the shape or form of fear, its kind and occurrence. While many external stimuli may make us fearful of some things or events, fear is also a symptom of serious mental illness, as in the case of chronic schizophrenia. Overcoming fears is an ultimate challenge to us as well as medical professionals.

There are several kinds of fears, out of which some are completely normal and rational. On the other hand there are other types of fear which are abnormal and needs treatment to overcome those fears. While the fear arising due to the factor of physical harm is perfect, fear of looking foolish in the eyes of others and being made fun because of it, is probably a sign of negative personal trait. There are several phobias and symptoms which are often very hard to get rid of due to their association with our psyche itself. Normal fear is temporary and usually fizzles out, once we known that we have passed through the dangerous phase of fear.

Overcoming fears arising out natural reasons is easy, as the person will come out of it all by himself. In such cases, people can learn to overcome the natural fear, provided someone shows them, that there is absolutely nothing to fear in the given situation. You can overcome fears by building confidence in your capability to perform such a task. That is usually performed by carrying out something difficult or presumably dangerous and observing that the final consequences of failure are not that bad or that the chances of failure are very remote. The ultimate benefit of overcoming fears is that you feel proud about your achievement and about your abilities to repeat it again.

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Human psychology is always painted negative and as a study of negative human behavior; basically we perceive psychology as a sign of trouble, and thus attempt to correlate it to such destructive issues like depression, psychosis, unhappiness, mental disorders and mania. Sadly most of the clinical examinations also tend to look at psychology, as something that is a malady and most of the treatment attempts are aimed at treating the disease than stopping them from happening. Thus there is a pressing need for a new, revived way of looking at the old concept of psychology.

Also called Positive Psychology, this area is more concerned with the sunnier side of psychology, which is the area of those people, who are happy and move with confidence, wherever they go and whatever they do. Positive psychology may shed more light on why some people behave in such a pleasing manner and how they have developed that trait. Ultimately, this intense study may help us to find a lasting cure for many of our negative psychological conditions and other eccentric behaviors.

Positive Psychology is a new attempt to redefine and readjust the existing disparity or imbalance, to encourage and support psychologists to try and attempt to contribute to positive aspects of human life, not only just perform something about negative things. Being a new branch of psychology, this field is still in its infant stage and is hotly contested for its veracity and advantages, by both detractors and supporters. Some of them tend to neglect this new theory, while others vouch for its authenticity. Many of them never believe in the concept of joy, love, positive talk, optimism and love, while others see a broad daylight in professing the techniques of all good human behavior to cure any psychological malady.

New theories of positive psychology condemns the traditional practice of treating psychological patients as mere numbers or objects, and also the supporters of the new theory disapprove the current methods of approaching a sensitive issue as important as psychology. Many experts who support the positive psychology theory have varied ideas about what actual psychology is and how it can best be researched to solve many perennial problems. However, these experts are united by a view that, normal human beings possess excellent qualities, and that we can still be capable enough to make better choices about what we believe and do, in spite of all those unfortunate events, occurred due to reasons beyond our control or by factors of our genetic disposition.

Positive psychology often relies heavily on the principle of optimism, which is a cherished positive parameter of human excellence. There is remarkable evidence that optimistic people are usually happier and highly productive than ultra pessimists. Optimism can also be taught and learned by human beings. According to the new theory, there tends to be a positive flow of things in those people who are highly optimistic and cheerful. This flow is usually not checked in them, in any manner, at any time and thus this set of positive flow causes a person to be tougher mentally and psychologically. Positive psychology and its application may take a while to be universally accepted for clinical practice.

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Nothing worthwhile in this world is achieved without motivation. Some of us are strongly motivated while others are just drifting away in life. Again, there are people who have been motivated right from their childhood whereas others got motivated at a much later stage. So whatever category you may belong to, if you are not motivated as yet towards anything, you just happen to exist but unable to live. In order to live rather than just surviving you must have a quality of liveliness that comes from positive motivation.

Now the question arises: how to be a motivated person? How to possess motivation in the right direction? Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) has got the answer. The science or art of NLP centers on a pivotal truth that the solution to man’s problems lies in a fundamental change in human mind and, ironically enough, it is the mind that is capable of effecting this change.

NLP aims at effecting behavioral change or increasing behavioral choice through the manipulation of personal state. This manipulation takes place either by carrying out a dialog with oneself or by allowing a professional NLP trainer to talk to us and work on us.

Everyone, whether normal or abnormal, young or old, a common man in the street or a great scientist, can be motivated with the help of NLP. In addition to being an instrument for motivating normal healthy people NLP can be used for individual psychotherapy. NLP teaches both individuals and groups how to fulfill their maximum potential and achieve great success. NLP involves a variety of communication and persuasion skills. Essentially, it uses self-hypnosis to motivate and change oneself. NLP motivates and enables you to transform all aspects of your life by bringing about a qualitative change in your relationships with both friends and foes. It adds to your sense of self-esteem that is indispensable for success in life.

Mechanism of NLP: The mechanism of NLP is self-talk. It is like having a dialog with oneself. This dialog is not some kind of soliloquy but a conscious monologue aimed at self-persuasion. This self-talk goes on when you are alone as much as when you are interacting with others. NLP helps you listen to others as well as listen to the stream of thoughts in your mind. It helps you consciously discard and filter out the negative strain in thought and suggest to yourself the positive antidote thought to counteract the effect of the negative thoughts. By carrying out a constant conscious talk with yourself you enlighten and illuminate the dark recesses of your mind. You are able to deal with and dispel the root cause of ignorance and move towards self-awareness and self-knowledge. This helps you have greater confidence in your actions, convictions and competencies.

Miracle of NLP: In order to derive full benefits of this phenomenon of self-talk it is important to carry out a set of positive thoughts in the right direction. A wrong set of thoughts can lead you in a totally different direction bringing disastrous consequences. Ask yourself consciously what is holding you back from accomplishing what you want to accomplish in life. What are your stumbling blocks? Through practicing self-talk over a period of time you would be able to analyze and diagnose your psychological malady. You would discover that the time has come to believe in yourself in spite of all your shortcomings. This realization would convert your weaknesses in to strengths by constantly repeating the positive thoughts affirming your positive qualities and competencies. In the end it will all leave you an enlightened being that is at perfect peace with himself as well as others and can live in this world sanely without any conflicts.

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