Tips Guides

Why do we call “retirement” an art? After all, as many believe, you simply stop working. The answer is that, for many of us, this period of life is the first time we actually have the opportunity to create the life we want! There is no model for this period, no Uncle George or Aunt Josie to tell you which is the best school to go to or what is the best place to work with the best benefits. It is only you and your imagination. And that’s why we call it an art form.

In coming to terms with such a vast, even awesome, opportunity, we have to back up and rethink the elements of our personality which are unique to us and give us pleasure. For many of us, this aspect of re-imagining ourselves, including who we are, what we love, what we wish to leave behind is an almost overwhelming opportunity. We therefore present two different ways of starting our personal self-analysis, one intuitive and one based on collected data. Interestingly, the information gathered from each is frequently quite similar but the appeal is to the right or left brain orbs. Therefore, depending on whether you are left brain or right brain dominant, one or the other may appeal more to you.

Left brain people (logical and sequential thinkers) are likely to favor gathering this information from personality profiles, like the Birkman. The other method, which appeals to more intuitive thinkers, asks you to recall events from your past where you were in a state of “flow.” When you are in a state of flow, you lose all track of clock time because you are so engaged in an experience that ordinary time disappeared. These analytic exercises offer opportunities to understand the deeper core passions which may direct you as you consider “what else” your life has to offer.

However, once this information is available, what do we do with it? If your interests include, for example, helping others through volunteer work, how do you go about finding the right organization and the right training? In the past, our resumes trailed us, organizing our histories. But now, we are our histories, and learning how to convey this information in our meetings with others is part of the art form.

Earlier in life we learned to recount our skills. Now we develop the capacity to connect with others and to gain first order information (which is information derived directly from people) which will be the basis for our decisions. This can be a crucial time to explore and investigate various nonprofits where you might be interested in volunteering your services. Some of the questions you might ask are: (1) How clear is the organization’s mission and is it something I deeply believe in? (2) How could my skills and experience contribute to this cause? (3) Is the organization open to integrating new people? (4) Is there an orientation program for new volunteers and/or Board members? (5) How does the organization propose to utilize my talents, or do I run the risk of getting stuck licking stamps while others make decisions?

Think of yourself as an interviewer using your emotional and intellectual skills to make sure that the personal qualities you imagined in your analytic exercises will be the ones you will actually get to use.

This may require new emotional strengths, such as clarifying how and where your experience connects with the organization’s mission. Remember, being an “artist” is largely explaining the world as you see it. The clearer you are in understanding your interests, your working style and your needs, the more likely it is that your audience will value you.

Luck favors the prepared mind!

John Trauth is co-author of “Your Retirement, Your Way” (McGraw-Hill, 2007), a step-by-step curriculum which explains the secrets for happiness in retirement and helps readers prepare for the psychological, strategic and financial aspects of this major life transition. Learn more about this book and take the free “retirement readiness quiz” at http://www.YourRetirementYourWay.com.

A celebrity is the term used to describe someone who is famous and attracts attention from the general public and the world’s media. Traditionally, a celebrity would gain the title by his or her work or achievements in a particular field of expertise. Actors, musicians, politicians and inventors have all become celebrities in the past. However, as we fall deeper and deeper into the cesspool of the 21st century a new celebrity has arrived - the nobody.

Cultural commentator Daniel Boorstin stated in his 1961 book, The Image: A Guide to Pseudo-Events in America, that a celebrity was “a person who is known for his well-knownness”. Nearly fifty years later and his theories of pseudo-events are still as apt today with the current trends of reality TV and celebrity culture. So where did we go wrong, and when did it become so easy to become famous?

In 1968, prominent artist Andy Warhol commented on the state of society and its infatuation with celebrity when he exclaimed that ‘everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes.’ This brave claim may have seemed a little misguided but the previous forty years have proved his point emphatically. However, I think he may have been a bit ambitious with the length of time as some stars of reality TV arrive and disappear in the blink of an eye.

So we arrive in 2008 with the words of both Warhol and Boorstin ringing in our ears. We sit down, we turn on the TV to see what audio-visual treats await - every channel fills our living rooms with ‘real people’ doing ‘real things’. As you peruse the glossy TV magazines notice the amounts of reality shows that now dominate our screens - Wife Swap, X-Factor, American Idol, Britain’s Got Talent and the reality pioneer Big Brother. The concept itself of Big Brother is everything that Boorstin and Warhol warned us about, ‘normal’ people are thrust into the limelight to be mocked, glorified, vilified and humiliated in equal measures. And we lap it up.

Since Big Brother first hit the UK’s screens in the summer of 2000, there have been nine series (including the current one) and nine winners. The ‘housemate’ that is eventually voted BB Winner 2000 and whatever is not necessarily the most likely to gain fame and fortune from their appearance on this cultural phenomenon. The champion of Big Brother earnings so far with estimated earnings of three million pounds, entered the house in 2002, finishing a lowly 4th before embarking on a successful career in television, fitness DVDs and perfume. Jade Goody is the epitome of the pop-culture phenomenon that the UK will continue to see if reality television continues to dominate the ratings.

To achieve the financial security and national fame that Goody now possesses, she had to perform some pretty embarrassing acts while on BB3, as it was often called. The immature 21 year old was constantly belittled by her housemates and embarrassed herself with her apparent lack of basic intelligence and knowledge. Goody was famous for misinformed comments including ‘Do they speak Portuganese in Portugal? I thought Portugal was in Spain’ and ‘I knew Lynne was from Aberdeen but I didn’t realise Aberdeen was in Scotland’. Stupidity and a lack of pride had quickly become Jade Goody’s most profitable asset, and she was set to milk it for all its worth.

Goody reentered the Big Brother House in 2007, but this time as a fully-fledged celebrity in the show’s spin-off Celebrity Big Brother. She had grown into a national treasure in some people’s eyes, a real story of rags to riches, a modern day fairytale. Goody’s decision to take part damaged her reputation immeasurably as she became the centre of a racism row amidst comments made about Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty.

Goody’s career appeared to be coming to an end as her perfume was withdrawn from certain shops and her public perfection had reached its lowest point. As Boorstin and Warhol hinted towards, the public’s attention span continues to dwindle allowing Goody to regain her place on the celebrity merry-go-round. Voted third most pointless celebrity behind Paris Hilton and Chantelle Houghton (?), Goody has announced the launch of a second perfume as well as a re-release of her autobiography in 2008 so we can expect to see even more of this pseudo-event for many years to come. Fifteen minutes of fame? If only.

Patrick is an expert Research and Travel consultant. His current interest include Luton Airparks, Luton Airport Parking and I have a travel blog site.

Science has improved by leaps and bounds lately and almost all forms of science have become so advanced because of the research and development being exercised in their respective areas. The only science which is still under huge controversy in the science based on the brain power, the cognitive domain and the memory speculation which is other wise called as neuroscience or neuropsychology.

Some important issues that are popularly discussed these days in conjunction to cognitive domain include memory loss, the short term memory, and the ways of improving memory. In medical science, these are subject to intensive studies.

Mind is an amazing thing designed by God. Its power and capacity know no limits and man is yet to tap this power absolutely. It is said that man only uses just a fragment of his mental capacity. Scientists and researchers are always doing things to elevate this power or in the field of improving memory.
Memories are recorded happenings in the mental dimension. It is just like the computer encoding every data gathered . Everything that happens is recorded in the brain and whenever they are needed, the information is retrieved. But how is it that we can retrieve only particular events or information and not all what we see? All the sensory organs are working together when we perceive something.

Memory encoding and retrieval is highly dependent on the attention it is given. In various cases trauma, accidents or depression might cause temporary memory loss which mostly is treatable. Memory plays a significant role in the overall development of an individual. His intelligence is judged by his memory retention capability.

Without memory nobody can normally function because it creates an identity. Memory capacity therefore depends on the attention and the sensory perceptions. People who suffer from memory loss are thus given ways or exercises for improving memory. Students usually forget things easily before of the attention deficit as they are distracted by so many other matters. When they know the memory development strategies, then they can memorize and study much better. In usual cases, children easily remember things which they like, so it is natural that they do not give a damn about things or subjects which they do not love.

Everybody has its own memory capacity and even overloaded this capacity might also be cause for memory loss. But then human beings cannot remember almost all around them. So, human can not avoid chaos and confusion. Lots of individuals will always be depressed or will be affected by anxiety.

As a final note, memory development should be focused to enhance the general working capability to aid our normal functioning. Students weak in studies can use this memory development techniques to enhance their capacity. Even elderly people or business associates can learn this memory development to brush up and know how precisely they can remember essential things that needs to be stored as memory. Actually positive individuals learn from their memories. Therefore memory development should lead to human advancement and better performance rather than for any other reason.

For more information, visit http://www.memorydevelopmentmastery.com/

Have you ever tried to court a girl? Have you ever tried to win her approval and affection by saying nice things to her all the time (eg. praising her beauty)? If so, then I bet it probably didn’t turn out very well. In fact, I’m pretty sure that the girl eventually got immune to your ‘nice guy’ gestures and started avoiding your calls.

Have you ever wondered why? I mean, shouldn’t being nice and sweet to a girl cause her to like you?

Well, first of all, everything we’ve ever learnt about romance is totally wrong. I’m not kidding. Ever since we were born, almost everything the media has fed us about attracting women is a lie. In the movies, the sweet sensitive guy who goes out of his way to please a woman always ends up with her, and they live happily ever after. In reality however, women seldom react positively to a guy who showers them with too much attention and compliments. The fact is, complimenting her too often will backfire and cause her to resent you, instead of liking you.

Let me explain why. Women, especially the hot ones, receive at least 20-30 compliments on a daily basis. (Compliments here refer not just to verbal utterances, but also to lingering glances, lusty stares, and other non-verbal cues that signify male interest) In other words, these women are so used to guys giving them compliments in one way or another, that they become rather immune to it. In fact, many of them start to get annoyed by men who constantly offer praises to gain their approval. They perceive such men as weak and boring, who need to compensate for a lack of personality by complimenting excessively.

So, is there any way around this situation?

This may seem ridiculous, but believe it or not, insulting her will cause her to be attracted to you. Yup, giving a woman a negative comment will go much further towards creating a lasting impression than a compliment ever will. Just imagine, a beautiful girl receives hundreds of compliments from different men every week. Then one day, someone comes along one day and says something non-too-flattering to her. Which of them do you think will she remember - the hundreds who complimented her, or the one guy who stood out from the rest and ‘dissed’ her? The answer is obvious - the guy who didn’t give her what she expected to hear.

But don’t misunderstand, these ‘insults’ must not be conveyed in a malicious way so as to be considered offensive. The idea here is not to piss her off, but rather, to communicate to her that you are not emasculated by her beauty, unlike 99% of the other guys she’s met. And the only way to ensure this is by employing the right body language and tonality. But that is the subject for another day.

So far, whatever I’ve mentioned above about women might seem illogical, even nonsensical to you. But trust me, that’s the reality of things. Women just aren’t triggered by all that sacharine Disney-style romance we all grew up with. The truth is, attracting women requires a whole new set of skills that society never equipped us with. To unlock a woman, we need to use a totally different set of techniques that runs counter to our natural instinct. The one we’ve just talked about - being rude and mean to her - is but one of the numerous techniques that form the basis of successful seduction.

A word of caution though. These techniques, when used properly, are so powerful that a woman will immediately feel an intense, yet inexplicable attraction for the man. This will confuse and mystify her, because she will not normally be attracted to such a man. The usual criteria that a woman uses to qualify and select a man is simply thrown out of the window. As such, any man, be he short or ugly or broke or overweight, can induce powerful feelings of attraction and desirability within the woman if he employs these techniques properly. Continuous use of these techniques will render the woman utterly powerless to the man, till the point where her entire world is virtually in the palm of his hand - that’s how powerful it is!

So beware, if you are ever considering learning these techniques, be extremely mindful of what you are stepping into. es, you will have an unfair advantage over other guys. Yes, you will have unprecedented success with women. But do not abuse your power once you have it! These techniques will give you the secrets of attracting any woman, but if you use them without discretion and with ignoble intentions, there will be serious and far-reaching consequences. Such is the way of this world. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

For a long time, 99.9% of the male population were clueless about how to attract women. It was only recently that such powerful pickup techniques surfaced in our society, but even then, the knowledge was strictly restricted to very exclusive circles. Estevan chanced upon one of these sources at www.5minutepickup.com, and it changed his life. He now has the power to pick up women at will.

Your thoughts are mental products although they don’t necessarily reflect an absolute reality. However, for you, they do represent how you feel. Some people can’t help but wear their hearts on their sleeves. Others are more able to manage their emotions and function as if everything is fine. Born to a single mother with serious financial problems, Debra often struggled with her feelings growing up. Now a married Sandwiched Boomer, with a lot of life experience under her belt, a family of her own, and more responsibility for her mom, she’s dealing better with her emotions:

“I have to work at being more optimistic and worrying less. I no longer dwell so much on the negatives, and looking at things from a more positive perspective is not as hard as I thought it would be.” Just like Debra, you can learn how to reframe your thoughts and take better care of your emotional self. Begin by following these tips:

1. Focus your thoughts on what you can accomplish rather than on what you cannot. Look on the bright side of difficult situations as you create a balance between caring for others and nurturing your personal needs. You may even want to make a schedule until this becomes a routine that is factored into your daily life. Although you often cannot control external circumstances, you can control how you handle them.

2. Honor your body by taking notice of what makes you feel better, both physically and emotionally - pay attention to your exercise routine, what you eat, your sleeping habits and what gives you pleasure. Reduce the situations that cause stress and increase the ones that make you feel more relaxed or alive.

3. Forgive others who are important to you for some past wrongdoing. Watch their reaction and see how that makes you feel. That doesn’t mean you have to totally forget about it. But learn a lesson from the situation and move on, especially for your own good.

4. Practice what you know about being resilient. Recognize how your character strengths support what you do. Integrate your core values and personal ideals into how you view the world. Release tension through laughter and watch yourself begin to bounce back.

5. Knowledge is power. Use it to your advantage. Gather information about ways to deal with how you are feeling - explore Internet search engines or the self-help section of bookstores. Talk about how you are feeling with friends and family whose opinions you respect. Schedule a few sessions with a therapist or a life coach.

6. Support is a valuable tool - connect often. Find a class or workshop through your local university extension program or mental health center. Join an ongoing group or attend a weekend retreat to share concerns and gain new perspective. Spend some time with others who will support your ideas, validate your perceptions and help you follow through with your plans.

It can be difficult to maintain a sense of optimism when emotional circumstances are complicated and perhaps even painful. But you owe it to yourself to begin to better understand and cope with your changing moods. Talking about your negative feelings can increase your awareness and mitigate symptoms. In addition, you need to flip the coin and look on the bright side - for example, recognize the insight, strengths and skills that are already an integral part of you.

Some experts say that you have to feel better before you can change your behavior. Others advise you to behave positively and the feelings will follow. Try something as simple as being friendly when you’re feeling shy, or act happy when you feel sad. You know what happens when someone smiles at you. You can’t help but smile back - and that feels good. Make a commitment to look at life through a more positive lens, starting right now.

(C) Her Mentor Center, 2008

Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. is co-founder of http://www.HerMentorCenter.com, a website for midlife women and http://www.NourishingRelationships.Blogspot.com, a blog for the Sandwich Generation. She is co-author of a forthcoming book about Baby Boomers and family relationships. She offers a free newsletter Stepping Stones.

Fear is natural defensive mechanism in a human body, and is provided as a protective mechanism to counter unexpected dangerous situations or a perceived threat of injury. Fear is also a tool for us to get ready well in advance to overcome certain scenarios, which requires a solid defense. If confronted with a danger, we will try to avoid the cause of danger itself, while if we are given a choice of performing something that is potentially harmful; we will invariably avoid that potentially dangerous situation.

In some cases, fear is considered very desirable for human psyche, but in other extreme cases, fear factor may overpower us to such an extent that, we tend to live permanently with a nagging fear. In such instances, managing the fear factor in our psyche becomes very difficult and sometimes even unmanageable. Overcoming fears is not as easy as it perceived to be because the very idea of fear becomes scary or frightening to many people.

Just consider this curious fact: it is estimated that fear can affect as high as 60% of the people in the world. Fear can make people nervous and scary; people tend to get fear of all things which are mostly imaginary. People are frightened of ghosts, failure, success, people, animals, or anything that seem very frightening. People are frightened to appear on a public stage or if they are assigned to give a public lecture.

People do get afraid of exams, tests and interviews or even talking to people. It is difficult to define the shape or form of fear, its kind and occurrence. While many external stimuli may make us fearful of some things or events, fear is also a symptom of serious mental illness, as in the case of chronic schizophrenia. Overcoming fears is an ultimate challenge to us as well as medical professionals.

There are several kinds of fears, out of which some are completely normal and rational. On the other hand there are other types of fear which are abnormal and needs treatment to overcome those fears. While the fear arising due to the factor of physical harm is perfect, fear of looking foolish in the eyes of others and being made fun because of it, is probably a sign of negative personal trait. There are several phobias and symptoms which are often very hard to get rid of due to their association with our psyche itself. Normal fear is temporary and usually fizzles out, once we known that we have passed through the dangerous phase of fear.

Overcoming fears arising out natural reasons is easy, as the person will come out of it all by himself. In such cases, people can learn to overcome the natural fear, provided someone shows them, that there is absolutely nothing to fear in the given situation. You can overcome fears by building confidence in your capability to perform such a task. That is usually performed by carrying out something difficult or presumably dangerous and observing that the final consequences of failure are not that bad or that the chances of failure are very remote. The ultimate benefit of overcoming fears is that you feel proud about your achievement and about your abilities to repeat it again.

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